Thanksgiving Is Near

I am sure there are many people who question, “What do you have to be thankful for?” Because my husband passed away. I am definitely not thankful for that. That’s for certain!

But, I am thankful for quite a lot, actually.

I am thankful for my current health.

I am thankful for my family and friends. (to be clear, alllllllll of Mitchell’s family, is now MINE! I kept them all.)

I am thankful to have the daughter that I was so lucky to have. I could have ended up with a complete A-hole, but, she’s pretty cool.

I am thankful for my employment. I have a work family that has also been by my side, through this journey.

I am thankful that I fell into OCR, prior to Mitch passing, and really found out how AMAZING the OCR community is. Every one of them stood by my side, ready to be there when I was ready to get back into high gear.

Good gracious, I am so thankful for everything else in my life. If Mitch passing has taught me anything at all, it is to be MORE thankful, and appreciate it all.

All of it. The good, the bad, and the ugly.

I am at a point in my journey as a widow, where I have been told many people will have already tapered away. This is not how it’s working for me. I am happy that everyone has stuck by me.

I had a very bad day at work, the day after I put up the Christmas tree. I cried through about 10 minutes of a total knee surgery, and the surgeon was great to me. He didn’t get mad. He didn’t ask what was wrong. He just offered me a little break, by allowing me to get it out.

Everything was silent around me (as they kept working, I fell away), all I could do was think of Mitch. I thought about how he always begged to put the tree up early. He would sneak a Christmas decoration in, and see if I would notice. It was more of a game with us. I would get sick of looking at the Christmas decor, where he loved it. If it went up Thanksgiving night, It came down New Years day. If it went up early, it came down December 26th. It was just our way. It’s how we rolled.

I was able to pull myself together and rejoin the surgical team, in what seemed like a very long time. Come to find out, it was really only about 10 minutes.

Oh! One of the many things I am so very thankful for is the videos Mitch left on the computer. I feel like everyone needs to hear his voice.

This was last year, our Ugly Sweater party. Caution: Foul Language was used in the making of this video… For those of you who know his voice, his laugh, this is for you. He isn’t shown very much, but you sure can hear him, and it’s beautiful.

 

Here is a family game night. ❤

 

Be Thankful for the laughter.

Always remember that beautiful sound.

 

 

Royals Baseball and Easter. Baseball and the First Major Holiday Without Mitch. 

Hard? That’s an understatement. 

We went to a Kansas City Royals game last night, and memories of my first time there came flooding back. Mitch took me. When the people sang the national anthem, lay night, I cried. 

I cried when I woke up, and set Megan’s Easter basket out. 

I cried again, when I took a shower. 

As I was showering, I was listening to music. 90s R&B, to be exact. 

I feel a cold breeze. And Color Me Bad starts singing… I wanna sex you up. 

I started to laugh, then I cried. I imagined Mitch, how he used to peek in the shower at me. The realization that he wouldn’t be peeking in my shower anymore really hurt. 

I cried harder. 

Monica. Angel of Mine. If you don’t know this song, look it up.  More tears. 

I didn’t think I was going to make it through today. 

I cleaned my face up, moisturized and put makeup on. I did my hair, and put on my most comfortable black dress. Also, my ONLY dress. 

We had Brunch with my family at 11:15am at Union station, and all went well. We walked through the park, as part of the walk we took. Quite a few homeless people were napping on the lawn of the park. It was serene. So peaceful. 

After brunch, we went to Easter at Mitch’s adopted side of the family. It was pleasant. No one really talked about it. We weren’t there for very long, as we had a 3rd stop to go. While there, everyone asked how we were doing, if we were okay, and if we needed anything. I got to see my pregnant sister-in-law, Katy, (Mitch’s bio-mom’s daughter, so bio-sis) and smooch her big’ol beautiful belly, and talk to my niece, Hannah Mitchell England, aka “Mitchee”. I love her so much, and she isn’t even here yet! ❤️

We, then, traveled down the street to Mitch’s biological family’s Easter. As always, we had fun. We took pictures, as we always do, when we are there. We had hamburgers and hotdogs and socialized. 

My youngest pup, Moose was there, so he was in the family photos. In true Mitch fashion, Moose turned his ass to the camera. He tried to knock Summer (Mitch’s OTHER prego  sister!❤️) over, using my body, and made the picture hilarious. Sorry, Summer! Love you! 

Now, I am home, sitting in a lavender infused bath, typing up this blog, with a GIANT glass of wine. 

I’ll finish the wine, watch an episode of the Detour, and go to sleep, so I can get up tomorrow morning, go to work, and make the money. 

Living without Mitch sucks! It sucks so hard. But, lucky for Meg and I, our family makes it that much easier. 

After a Royals Win!