We have all been there. There are times in our lives, when we feel broken down, or like we aren’t enough for someone.
We need to remind ourselves that we are enough. We are absolutely enough, and we don’t need the approval of others.
Recently I was in a situation, in which I didn’t want to do certain things and the person who was asking, decided I wasn’t enough.
I’m not going to lie.
I woke up, every night, for 5 nights straight, in a panic, wondering why I wasn’t enough. What have I don’t wrong? What could I do to be enough?
Reality is this: I don’t want to do ANYTHING to “become enough” for anyone. If I’m not what you’re looking for, as a friend, a lover, girlfriend, or future wife, that is OKAY! There’s someone out there for you!
I decided to actually end things, so that no one was truly hurt, in the long run. It would have really sucked to have lost a friend, as well.
No, I don’t want to have orgies. I’m not into that. (Just exaggerating here) No, I do not share my partner. I will not compromise.
I will not allow my friends to make stupid choices, like getting that cookie dough when you’re on a very strict weight loss path.
I’m helpful and forceful like that. If that’s not what you want as a friend, that’s okay. (Don’t let unhealthy YOU win! 😉)
I am a big cheerleader, when it comes to my friends and family hitting their goals. I will cheer for you, and I will call you out. I won’t let you fail.
With all of that said, I came across this blog, this morning, that had me in tears.
It’s titled “An Open Letter To The Future Man Dating my Wife.”
I read it through the voice of my husband, and I cried. It really took every doubt I had, about myself and who I am as a prospective girlfriend/lover/wife, and wiped them out. I was absolutely, 100% ENOUGH for the most amazing man that I’ve ever met, for SIXTEEN AND A HALF YEARS! There’s nothing wrong with me. And I don’t mean this as a bad thing on anyone else, but I am sorry, for you, if I am not enough for you. Mitch thought I was worth it, and that’s what keeps me going.
One day, I’ll meet someone new, who will find me to be “enough.”
I am not looking. I have deleted my dating apps. I have decided to focus more on NOT seeing guys, and NOT dating, and putting all myself into my child and me, along with my family and friends.
Dating me won’t be easy. I come with a lot of “baggage”. Can I call it Luggage? Luggage is more of a happy word. Because my marriage was wonderful. My daughter is my favorite human, in the whole world. Those two will forever be an amazing part of me. The two major parts that sculpted me into who I have become, and I will be forever grateful for their presence in my life. Even when I wanted to choke them!