This is my second valentine’s without Mitch.
It sucks, without him, but I am still very much alive.
I bought Meg some overpriced skittles in a heart shaped box, for her Valentine’s gift. I also bought her a bright pink Pink hoodie. I laughed and told her the shoes I bought were her vday gift to me! Haha. She said “no!”
I thank sweet baby Jesus that Mitch and I didn’t really care about Valentine’s Day, as adults. We didn’t care to celebrate, by spending money on cheap shit, just to say we bought this or that for each other. We would have rather spent the day together as a family followed by a night of sexy time. (Yeah, I said it!)
This year, no Horror movie date, or “quiet” time on Valentine’s night.
I have a night out, with my cousins planned for Saturday, and we are going to be the hottest trio of women in KC, Saturday night. (At least this is what I’m thinking.) we will be each-other’s dates to dinner and drinking at a live jazz club. I can’t wait for this long overdue cousin time.
There may be dancing with people. There may not be. I invited a man to crash ladies night. Not for anything serious, of course, but to have fun. If I’m going to dance with a man, this weekend, I want him to be gorgeous. Actor/celebrity level hot.
I’ve met 3 men in my life that meet that criteria. I married one, and loved every minute of it.
One is a friend, I met last year.
And one is a friend I met this year. The one I met this year, is the one I invited for Saturday. (No, I don’t want to marry him. No, don’t even want him to be my boyfriend, so don’t worry! Just a friend.)
But, interaction is fun, and I’m not going to pretend that I don’t want that, in my life. No one will EVER be Mitch, and I won’t even try to recreate that.
I’ve talked to Meg about how she feels about me going out with men, on dates and such. She said “I wouldn’t care.”
I really, truly, value our relationship, and our ability to talk about anything.
She was comfortable enough to come to me, and tell me about her relationship status. I am so happy that she was not scared or ashamed or anything. She knows that no matter what, I love and support her. (No murdering allowed, though, unless it was self defense!)
She knows I talk to guys, I know who she is “dating”. We have very open communication. I haven’t really shared with family that I am dating, because I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. I don’t want anyone to think that I’ve forgotten Mitch, because I have not. I never will.
Meg won’t meet the men I date, because that would be silly to introduce her to people who aren’t going to be around that long. I know that sounds bad, but I don’t mean it that way. I’m not going to meet the man of my dreams (because he died), so there’s no point in trying. Ya know? But going out, having dinner and drinks, and enjoying each-other’s company is something that I enjoy doing. I like meeting people. I like dancing, and dressing up, and having fun.
So, when I have opportunities, to hang out, and have fun, I will take them.
I’ve learned over the last year, that life really is short.
Have fun. Be happy. And DON’T take things too seriously. People will like you, or they won’t like you. Do not change who you are, to please people.
(This blog was written over a 24 hour span of write a bit-stop-write more-stop-write-sleep-write-work-write. It may be a mess, but, so is my life.)