Not that I expected any change in my Widow status.

It is Christmas! It is the time of year we all get excited, and see our families, and embrace everyone for everything that they are. Some will give gifts, some will drink too much, and some will quietly roll their eyes at the drunkest family members. It’s what happens on Christmas.

It was one of Mitch’s top 2 favorite holidays. (I think Halloween was a very close second, so close it was like they tied for first)

For many of you, it has been exactly one year, since you’ve seen Mitch in person, and heard his laughter, or dirty jokes spoke aloud.

12 Months.

52.1 weeks.

365 days.

Mitch wouldn’t want anyone to be sad, today. Of all days, especially not today!

I know it’ll be rough, but I will look around, and see what we still have, here on earth. And by “what” I mean who. I will speak his name, and tell his silly stories. I will be thankful for those who are still with us. I will be present.

I will be considerate of the feelings of those who will surround us, today, for I got to have Mitch a month longer than most.

I know, it doesn’t change anything. He still passed away, when he passed away, but, still.

By the time we are at the McAnany’s party, it’ll be our 4th “Christmas” without Mitch, this year. We’ve had some preparation, already, where almost everyone I see today, will be having their first without him. It doesn’t get easier, it just becomes more manageable.

Meg and I will have our 3rd, traditional Christmas, this morning. We will go to Perkin’s for breakfast, then go see a movie. I am still trying to talk her into Star Wars instead of Pitch Perfect 3, but so far, it’s a no-go!

I will have a straight face, for the world to see, as I handle my emotional battle within.

I will keep telling myself, what Mitch would say to me:

“Today isn’t all about you!” Ha!

Because it isn’t about me, or Mitch, you or any individual. This holiday is about family, and love, happiness and togetherness.

Be present.

Merry Christmas, and Happy Holidays!

2 thoughts on “It is Christmas, and I am Still a Widow.

    1. Yes! This is what I like to hear! Your way! This is my first Christmas without Mitch. It’s been exactly 11 months since he passed.
      I’ve got this! We’ve got this! ✊

      Liked by 1 person

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