I’m not going to lie. I’m not going to hide it. I’m not going to pretend it isn’t happening.
I am seeing someone. I have been seeing him since September 22nd.
I was on my way to see him, friday night, because he lives out of town, and I was feeling a bit overwhelmed and questioning my decisions in life. I silently begged for a sign that I was doing the right thing. I feel like it could possibly be too soon, but, only I can really know. I think that my feelings might be a smidge influenced by the outside world with the “too soon” stuff, too.
But, I asked for a sign. I received a few.
A falling ball of fire! I would say a “shooting star” but, it wasn’t in the sky! It was right above land. If there were dried up trees, a fire would have happened!
6 smoke lines, all coming to a point in the direction I was headed. Think airplane smoke trails. It was strange.
Then, on my way home, I was listening to the P!nk station on amazon music, and “Rod” Stewart came on!
There are a couple of things that hit me about this.
The song was Time after Time.
The guy I’m seeing… his name is Rodney… or “Rod” for short!
The lyrics to the song, start out like this:
“What good are words I say to you?
They can’t convey to you what’s in my heart
If you could hear instead
The things I’ve left unsaid”
But, the crazy thing is that Rod Stewart came on the Pink station. That doesn’t even make sense!
When I was driving home, two cars cut me off…
both of those cars had plate holders and car decals that said “woodhouse”
My last name is Wood.
Coming to our home meant you were going to then”woodhouse” for a get together. Or the “Woodheads” houses
The fact that Rod Stewart came on, and the guy I’m seeing goes by “Rod” was insane. The lyrics to the song hit me, and I cried.
I, initially, skipped the song. But then I thought “wait! What the fuck is Rod Stewart doing on the Pink station?!” So I clicked back and listened to the words.
And the last thing was the smell of cigar smoke, filling my car. As many of you know, I don’t smoke. I quit smoking a few years ago, and Mitch quit smoking cigarettes a year-ish before he died. He did, however, enjoy a fat, smelly cigar, from time to time. He also even had a candle that smelled like cigars, for his man cave!
I said it on Facebook, and I’ll say it here, too. Maybe I am reading too deeply into these happenings. Maybe they aren’t actually signs from beyond. But, what if they are?
Am I being told to continue, or am I being told to stop? Is my loyalty, or sanity being questioned? Is there anything I need to worry about?
I feel one way, but is it biased?
Am I reading it the way I am, because that’s what I WANT it to mean? Or is this real? Are these signs from beyond, telling me it’s okay? Are they signs telling me not to continue? I don’t feel like that’s what it is, though. It’s a light, free feeling, rather than a heavy, guilt laden feeling.
I guess I won’t ever actually know, but what I do know is that Rod has read all of these blogs, and doesn’t guilt-trip me about taking care of my daughter, or still crying about losing Mitch.
He knows that if Mitch were still here, he wouldn’t have a chance in hell, with me. He treats me like a queen, and like I am strong, and independent. He is kind and accepting, and doesn’t overwhelm me. He also holds the door open and pays for dinner.
But the signs!
How can one ignore them?
What do I do with them?
I’ll continue to enjoy all of the signs, from change found in my purse, to the smell of cigars in my car. I know he’s here, but not HERE.