I am not normal. 

I am not like you. 

I am not like my mother, father, or brother.

I am not like my best friend.

I am  not like your sister, cousin, aunt, or grandmother.

I am not like my many other widowed friends. 

I am me. 

I am one hundred percent, authentic, and wholly  me. 

And that is amazing!

I don’t try to be anything but better, each and every day. 

I don’t care what is “popular” or if everyone else is doing it. 

I don’t care if my decisions aren’t expected. 

I prefer the unexpected. 

I live for spontaneity! 

I never realized how planned everything was, in our lives, until all those plans came crashing down, scattering across this way and that. 

I was supposed to grow old, and make inappropriate comments at holiday dinners, with Mitch, in front of our grandchildren. It was PLANNED! 

Nothing like making so many plans for the future, only to have those plans snatched away. What way do you best avoid the dashed plans? Don’t make any. 

Don’t get me wrong. Set goals. Achieve goals. Make your plans. 

I’ll eventually make plans again, but right now? No. 

I am going to let fate, or destiny, or whatever guide me. I’m going to go with the flow. I’m going to be spontaneous, and live as happily as I can, for as long as I can.  

I am going to raise Megan to be a better human, each day of her life. I can’t promise it’ll work through the teen years, but I’m going to try. 

I love living. Sometimes I hate that I love life, because Mitch isn’t here, loving life with me. 

In January, I never would have guessed I would be admitting that I love living. 

I love watching Megan grow into the person she is. 

I love going to concerts.

I love going to Royals games. 

I love driving, hours away, to run in races, and have an amazing time with so many awesome people. 

I. Love. LIVING! 

Mitch’s early, unexpected, horrific death opened my eyes. I realized it was time to go to that concert! It was time to sign up for that lifetime pass! 

The. Time. Is. Now! Not tomorrow, next week, or next year. NOW!

There might not be a tomorrow, so I am going to love everyday that I have. I’m not planning for too far in the future. 

I read this quote, or heard it, many times before:

“When you live with one foot in the past, and one foot in the future, you piss on the present.”

Don’t piss on your present! No matter the trials you face, find the good! Be happy! You deserve it! 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s