It hasn’t even been a full year, since Mitch passed on, to the spirit world, so, this is hard to write about. Everyone knows that I asked an old friend to fulfill my sexual needs, and he agreed. That wasn’t as hard to write about, because it wasn’t a date. The sheer fact that it was a scientific release, was what made it easy to talk about. 

This isn’t that. 

A while back, I got on a dating site, just jack-assing around, to see what was to be expected, when I’m ready to date, again. It was terrifying! Men offered dick-pics all the time! 

I shut them down. I quit looking. I was uninterested! Gross! Disgusting! WHY? Why would a guy think that is an appropriate conversation starter? 

I created an account, again, more recently, just to, kind of, scroll through, and not really swipe anyone. 

Except, I came across a profile that I was thoroughly interested in. 

I know! The feeling shocked me, too! Strange to be interested in someone else, right? 

So I swipe right. 

My app chimed and said “you’ve been matched!”

That means he had ALREADY swiped me (for those of you who don’t date via apps, or have been married forever, like I was). 

I got excited. He’s cute, seems to have his head on straight, and we talked, for a day or two. Not one time during our text conversations, did he offer me a picture of his penis. That was promising! 

I asked him what his last name was, so I could social media stalk him. I did, and he basically matched up to his dating profile, so, honesty, too. Good. 

He asked me out to dinner and a movie. 

I agreed to go. 

Then, I called him. Like old school, talking on the phone, voices and sarcasm galore!

He was funny, didn’t sound like a chipmunk, and wasn’t rude or abrasive. 


So, we meet at this restaurant, Gordon Biersch, and all I can think about is their apple dessert. 

So, this is what I had for dinner, along with a blue moon. I’m like a fucking child! He had shrimp and lobster Mac-n-cheese. 

We decided to go to Cinetopia, instead of AMC, to see a movie. Ryan Reynolds and Samuel L Jackson. We, apparently, had no idea that the theatre wasn’t the couches and stuff, but a giant theater, where the arm rests didn’t even move up! We agreed that it was lame, so we went to the Cinetopia bar, and got drinks. 

The thing I found so refreshing, was he let me pay for some stuff. We alternated paying, without really even thinking about it. He bought dinner, I got the movie tickets. He got first round of drinks at cinetopia, and I got the second round. He paid for drinks at Barley’s, and I tipped our amazing waitress (AKA, my cousin Jordan).  I like that. I think it’s fair. 

So, the date was great. We held good conversation, and he knows all about this blog, and Mitch, and Megan. He told me he wanted to cry for me. He Asked if he was some kind of “rebound” guy, and I told him no, I’ve already done that.  We talked about everything. Nothing was off limits. We even discussed a tiny bit of politics! Who does that on a first date? Apparently I do. Ha! 

I went into the date, with no expectations, and am here, now, without expectations. I don’t expect a call, or a second date, but if he asks me out again, I’d love to go out, and have another date. I totally understand how hard it could be, to wrap your mind around me, and my life. It doesn’t hurt my feelings if one isn’t interested in another date. I had fun for that night. 

Will anything stem from it? I don’t know. 

Am I hoping something comes of it? I don’t know.

All I know is that I enjoyed his company. He was funny, and sarcastic, and he listened, and he didn’t look at me, with pity in his eyes, even though he knew, about everything, even before the date started. That says a lot about a person, I think. 

So. I went on a date. I had a good time. 

I like people. I like a little attention, now and then. I love being a woman. 

Duality was experienced this weekend. Having conflicting feelings, at the same time. 

This is my normal.


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