The moment I wrote Mitch and my love story, days after he passed, is when I decided to make my grief cycle completely open. Public. For those who follow my blog, and know me in person, you know I’m intense, and whatever other words you so desire to use.
There have been a few people who’ve said, “you shouldn’t share so much.”
But, this is who I am. This is what I’ve decided I want to do. This helps ME, and may help others as well.
With my blogs, I am not looking for acceptance, attention, love, friends, or anything. Instead, I am hoping to help someone, anyone, know, they are not alone. This journey of grieving is different for every person who is thrust upon its path. The one thing we have in common is that NONE of us asked for this, but we got it anyway.
With my last post, it was questioned as to why I would have wanted to share it. “That’s personal, and not everyone needs to know.”
No, not everyone needs to know, but there might be some widowed man or widowed woman out there, feeling awful because they are having the same sexual desires. They may need to see that, no, they aren’t the only one going through this.
Where I grabbed the bull by the horns, others may be too afraid of what comes next. That’s okay. I was afraid of what would happen after, as well. Hell, I messaged my in-laws before posting my last blog, because I didn’t want them to find out through my blog. I hit the send button, and immediately scrubbed in for surgery. I felt like I was going to puke throughout the entire surgery. Maybe I shouldn’t have shared, directly, with them. Maybe it’s okay? My only hopes is that they understand I told them, because I respect them so much, and feel they have a right to know before the world knows. (Or the blogging world)
So, my story will be open to the public. I am not going to write about every sexual encounter, but that first one was an important part of this story, a chapter that couldn’t be left out.