FAMILY, you have been warned, just by the title of this blog!
I know! Let me explain, before you tear me a new one.
I’ve been debating with myself, about even posting this. Really though, I feel like anyone who loses their spouse feels the same way, and are ashamed to admit it. We shouldn’t be ashamed about this. And before any weirdos offer up a piece of their junk, the answer is no. I am not wanting to have sex. I just miss it with my husband.
Here is the deal. Mitch and I were together for 16.5 years. I am only 34. I was 2 months shy of 18 when we started dating.
That’s 16.5 years of never having to go without. That’s 16.5 years of “when we/I want it, there it is!” His goofy self, always dry-humping me, as I changed my clothes, or as I stripped to take a shower. The “oh! We got off of work early, wanna do it while Meg is at school?” His goofy comments, and silly pickup lines that he STILL used on me, after 16.5 years together. Every single day, he told me how much he loved me, and how lucky he was to score with such a hot chick. Of course, I would just giggle, say “I love you too.” And tell him to “shut up, I’ve got mom-bod now.”
Now, I don’t have that. I don’t have the ease and comfort of just “hopping in bed” with my husband. I mean, I could take his ash box to bed, literally. But where does it go from there? That’s creepy and I wouldn’t chance spilling his ash. I would HATE myself if a part of Mitch lived on in the vacuum cleaner. 👎 He would probably HAUNT me if that happened! And ew. I feel gross just typing that, but know, that’s intended to be something for you to laugh at, not take seriously.
I TOTALLY took Mitch’s penis for granted! I thought it would always be here.
Here I am, at the “height of my sexual prime” and I don’t have my man.
So, as I boldly type this, and share it with the world, I am thoroughly grossed out about the ash box comment, and hope you can find the humor in my ridiculous mind.
As my heart aches each day, it does heal. Little bits at a time.
I’ve got this!
I CAN do this!
And family, if you held on, and kept reading, I’m not sorry. You were warned. 😘