I am having an exceptionally well day, today, so I am going to take advantage of it. I want to tell you all, it is OK to be happy.
Of course, I am not happy that my husband is gone. I will never, ever, ever be happy about that.
I watched a video of a man, who lost his child, he said the same thing.
Happiness isn’t what happens in your life. Happiness is what YOU MAKE of what happens in your life.
I am HAPPY that I got to have Mitch in my life, for the amount of time I was allotted.
I am HAPPY that during that time, we produced one of the most amazing humans, in the world!
I am HAPPY that Megan and I are as close as we are, and she can talk to me about ANYTHING.
I am HAPPY that we were happy!
I am HAPPY that we loved each-other so much.
I am HAPPY that Megan got to know her father’s love, unlike so many people.
I am HAPPY that I am strong.
I am HAPPY that I have all of Mitch’s family surrounding us with love and comfort.
I am HAPPY that I have my brothers, who talk to me, and help me when I need it.
I am HAPPY that I have a brother, so close, that he can pick Megan up, on a whim, and take her to the park. Or to the batting cages, or where ever they feel like going.
I am HAPPY that I have a job, that allows me to afford LIVING!
I am HAPPY that I use writing as my kind of therapy.
I am HAPPY that I have some pretty amazing friends!
I am HAPPY that you are reading this, right now!
I am HAPPY because I have a job, that was willing to change my hours, so that I could be home, in time to cook my daughter dinner, every night.
I am HAPPY that I have co-workers who were willing to donate their, hard-earned, paid time off, to me, so that I could take time to grieve without feeling rushed back to work.
I am HAPPY that when I went back to work, that first day back was like walking into the arms of family.
I am HAPPY that I am alive.
I am HAPPY that my cat is fat, now.
It’s okay to find, and focus on the good.
If I sat around, being negative about being a young widow, all day, every day, I don’t think I would have the support that I have. I am sure I would have a few dedicated people, in my life, but, mostly, people would surely get tired of feeling depressed around me. I know, because I am one of those people. I can’t handle when someone is so negative all of the time. Yes, something bad happened to me. Does this define me? Does this make me a different person? It may change me, but I am still that gal that sees the silver lining in everything. I am still going to have my “down-days”, as I like to refer to them. But, don’t we all? I may cry harder, tomorrow, than I have cried, ever, since the death of my young husband. I don’t know that, but I know, not today.
Today, I am going to focus on being my best person.
Today, I am happy.
Mitch and 2 of his sisters.