The day my life changed. The day I lost my best friend and lover,  and my daughter lost her amazing father. It started as a normal day. I went in for a mandatory staff meeting, at work, Megan got up, got ready for school, and Mitch (my husband) got up, and went to work. 

I got home, typed up a bunch of stuff for Girls on the run. I sent Mitch a text message, and he didn’t respond. Sometimes, he didn’t read my texts, so that was normal. I figured out what I was asking him, anyway, so I wasn’t too worried. 

I had a team of girls, but NEEDED coaches. I went to the school, and printed 400 copies, to pass out to every student, so every parent got the chance to volunteer. I was there until about 11:45 or so. 

I left, and had sent Mitch a couple texts, just letting him know what I was doing. We were like that. “Hey babe! Heading home from the school.” And a joking, “Are you still living?!” He never responded. 

Sometimes, he didn’t respond. I only started to worry when my brother (who is also his boss) texted me, and asked if he was responding to me. That wasn’t normal. If I couldn’t get ahold of him, he was with my brother, and if my brother couldn’t get ahold of him, he was with me. 

 Fear set in. But not that he had died. Oh no. Never that. He MUST have been cheating! (Lesser of the two evils here. Give me a break) I started to pull into my driveway, and said “f-ck it!” And drove straight. I was on my way to rip my husband a new one, for not answering my texts or phone calls. I was mad. 

I got to the street his “hub” was and saw an SUV officer pull up, and park on the street, and walk into the hub.

 I sped up, and flew into the parking lot, my heart was racing. I got out and walked around the corner of the building, to the entrance. I saw two more police cars with their lights flashing, silently. 

I tried to get into the building, but you need a badge. The saw me, and let me in. 

Officers were everywhere.

One grabbed me by the arm, and dragged me into the office and shut the door. 

I knew. I didn’t want to know, but I already knew, before she spoke the words. 

I wailed. 

I am alone now. 

Oh my God! I had to tell the family. 

My brother came, and hugged me. They were best friends, co-workers, and brothers-in-law. 

We cried together. 

I told him we had to go tell his family. We stopped at his biological Father’s house first, because that’s what popped into my head first. Then drove to his brother’s place, to tell him. I could feel my heart shattering, and all the pieces hitting the floor. 

My brother said no more. We brought my brother in law back to my brother’s house and theyvstarted making phone calls. I stared out the window for hours. I was waiting for the “JUST KIDDING! Gotchya!” But it never came. 

I didn’t want to tell my sweet, beautiful, loving, caring, kind, STRONG little girl, that her daddy passed. 

At some point, I pulled myself together and called a friend to pick her up from school. She did, without question. 

Also, during my time of staring out the window, wishing I could wake up, we received a phone call, that they believed it was his heart, but would t know for sure, until after an autopsy. 

Our daughter walked through the door and gave me crap about pulling her from her Mathletics party. I asked her to sit down. She sat down between my brother and I, and I told her. Well first, I pointed at her button, and told her “Remember this, always.” It said “kindness matters”. She started to look worried. I told her that her daddy had passed away, that morning, and they believed it was a heart attack. She cried. Her Aunt Katy, Mitch’s little sister, sat down and cried just a little, and Megan sat straight up, wiper the tears from her eyes, and wrapped her arms around her aunt, and said “Everything is going to be OK, Aunt Katy.”

I started to cry harder. 

Somewhere between that and the transplant call, people had dropped off tons of food, and my brother’s house was full of family and close friends. 

I got a phone call from Midwest Transplant, because my beautiful, perfect husband was an organ donor. I work in an OR and know how time sensitive it is, when it comes to donating. I say here, in front of many many family members, mine and his, and calmly answered the million and one questions, that come along with donating tissue. 

I was numb. I felt like everyone was staring at me, expecting me to shatter into a million pieces, right there in the middle of my brother’s living room. I thought I should have. I mean. How was I still in one piece? 

My husband was able to donate both corneas, bone and connective tissue, vessels, and skin. His donations will help 2 people see, and over 50 people in pain! 

He was a beautiful, kind, funny, amazing man, and he forever changed me as a human. He was the best thing to ever walk into my life, and helped in the creation of our perfect daughter. 

He will never be forgotten. He will never lose his place in my heart, or in the hearts of those he met. He brought so much joy and laughter to everyone who had the pleasure of meeting him. 

He was taken too soon, from this world, from me, from Meg. 

One of our last photos together. 

7 thoughts on “January 25th, 2017

  1. Wow Tabbie, you are such a beautiful soul. You give of yourself 100%. This blog, this entry, completely open and raw. You not only think and feel this, but by typing the words, allowing all you know to read these words, will send such energies out into the universe. I only hope for you that those positive energies bring you much light and much love. Treat yourself kindly in these days of sadness. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’ll never forget the last time I saw him at that mathletics meet! You two displayed the true definition of love! I always enjoyed seeing you two together in person and on Facebook!! He was so wonderful and funny! I’m better because I got to know him!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I just cant stop thinking about you you have been through something that lots of people will never have to go through I hope you keep this up on your daily feelings to help others they could be going through this you are such an inspiration I don’t know how you doing tabby but I’m glad you do I love you

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Tabbie you are a very strong woman you made this 53 year old woman to tears. Mitch would be so proud of you ,his memories will always live in your heart.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Thank you Tabbie for sharing with all of us. Please know my thoughts and prayers are with you often and hope with time some of the pain will be replaced with joy. With love Yolande

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Tabbie I’m just seeing this. This is … unbelievable.
    I’m so so sorry. My heart breaks for you and your daughter.
    Much love to you and all the family.
    Cherish your memories.
    ❤💔

    Liked by 1 person

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